This morning, I received a heartfelt message from Eileen, a mother of three:

“We seem to be struggling with our rhythm in the winter months. Restless kids, lots of wild behavior, lots of us yelling at them, and them alternating between being wild best friends and furious at each other. We’re honestly struggling to find moments of calm and joy. Do you have any tips or anything we can read?”

By coincidence, two other coaching clients reached out today with nearly identical concerns, describing new challenges erupting as the seasons shift. Families, especially those with highly sensitive or neurodivergent children, are feeling the strain of shorter, darker days and the heightened excitement and unpredictability of the holiday season. In my own home, I’m noticing similar patterns—kids who are groggy and sluggish in the mornings, but wildly wound up and bouncing off the walls by evening.

Kids everywhere are restless, parents are losing their patience, and finding peace in the midst of the chaos feels increasingly out of reach. For families with sensitive or neurodivergent kids, the intensity of emotions and behaviors can feel especially overwhelming.

These messages from my clients, along with my own family’s experience, inspired this article. If you’re feeling the same struggle to find your family rhythm this winter, know that you’re not alone. Let’s explore why this season is so challenging—and how you can help restore calm and joy to your home.

Why Winter Feels So Hard for Families

• Decreased Physical Activity:
  During warmer months, children have access to outdoor play, a natural outlet for pent-up energy. In winter, the lack of outdoor movement increases restlessness, particularly for neurodivergent kids who may already struggle with regulating their energy levels.
• Impact of Seasonal Changes:
  Shorter days and limited sunlight affect everyone, disrupting circadian rhythms and impacting mood. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) can subtly affect children, even if they don’t realise it themselves, leaving them cranky and dysregulated.
• Holiday Excitement and Overload:
  The anticipation of holidays can lead to overstimulation, disrupted routines, and emotional outbursts. Sensitive children, in particular, may find it hard to navigate the discomfort that comes with anticipation, waiting, and delayed gratification. They also may wrestle with the "highs" of celebrations and the inevitable "lows" when they end.
• Sibling Dynamics Under Pressure:
  Being cooped up together more often increases the likelihood of sibling conflicts. Without natural breaks and separation provided by school, sports, or outdoor play, small disagreements can escalate quickly.
• Parent Stress:
  As parents, winter also challenges our regulation. The demands of holiday planning, juggling schedules, and the emotional toll of long, dreary days can leave us feeling depleted, making it harder to stay emotionally regulated ourselves in moments of family chaos.

How to Restore Calm and Joy in Your Family Rhythm

The key to shifting the course is in creating intentional, mindful changes that meet the needs of your family. Here are some strategies to help:

1. Build in Physical Activity Daily

• Why it matters: Physical activity helps regulate energy and emotions for both kids and adults. Bonus points if that physical activity involves any form of ‘heavy work.” Heavy work is an occupational therapy term that refers to any type of activity that involves pushing or pulling against the body. This type of gross motor input helps to calm and organize the brain.
• How to do it:
• Create a “movement jar” filled with strips of paper listing quick activities like dancing, indoor obstacle courses, or heavy work. Examples of heavy work include climbing, wall push-ups, vacuuming, wheelbarrow walking, or sweeping. Let your kids draw one whenever energy is bubbling over.
• Embrace outdoor play whenever possible—even 15 minutes bundled up in the cold can make a big difference.

2. Create Revamped Winter Routines

• Why it matters: Predictability and structure help children feel secure and regulated. However, the routine that has worked since the beginning of the school year may have grown tired. Time to revamp and add some changes and novelty to the mix.
• How to do it:
• Establish a new morning, after school/daycare, and evening routines. Include new seasonal foods, a new order of doing morning and bedtime routines, and fun calming activities like reading winter themed stories together, a new board game or puzzle, and making seasonal crafts.
• Add a new family ritual like weekly hot cocoa and story time or “cozy Friday holiday movie nights.”

3. Prioritize Individual Emotional Regulation

• Why it matters: Dysregulated parents cannot help dysregulated kids. Keep in mind that emotional regulation can be contageous, but so can emotional dysregulation.
• How to do it:
• Take mini-breaks for yourself during the day to breathe, move your body, or step outside for fresh air.
• Use mantras to reset your mindset and reset your positive intentions, such as, “This is hard, but I can stay calm,” or “This is a stressful season, not forever.”
• When your child is upset, try co-regulation techniques like offering a 20 second hug and taking deep breaths together.

4. Take the Lead in Supporting Sibling Relationships

• Why it matters: Conflict is inevitable, but how it’s managed can strengthen relationships or lead to more long lasting conflicts between siblings.
• How to do it:
• Separate and require independent activities when sibling conflict errupts.
• Teach a simple repair process called a “check-in”: Encourage child 1 to say, “Are you ok?”, child 2 answers, then encoruage child 1 to say, “Is there anything I can do to make it better?” child 2 answers, then child 1 tries to meet that request. Then repeat that process the other direction, even when it seems like one child was the one at fault. Always have this process go both ways. You never know 100% what may have instigated the conflict, so ammends may be needed from either or both children.  
• Create opportunities to play and interact together with your kids so you can reinforce positive behaviors or quickly steer things in a different direction when things seem to be going sideways.

5. Create a Winter Themed Sensory-Friendly Environment

• Why it matters: Neurodivergent kids are often extra-sensitive to their surroundings. Creating spaces and activitites that meet their needs for higher or lower sensory input can help.
• How to do it:
• Use low lighting, soothing music, or weighted blankets, and “dens” to create a calming, low sensory-input atmosphere.
• Offer sensory tools like fidget toys, kinetic sand, or a sensory swing when higher sensory input is sought.

6. Address Seasonal Mood Shifts Proactively

• Why it matters: Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and disrupted circadian rhythms caused by shorter daylight hours can leave both parents and children feeling fatigued, irritable, or out of sync.
• How to do it:
• Invest in a light therapy lamp and place it in a central location or beside your bed. Turn it on immediately after the alarm goes off in the morning instead of pressing snooze. The bright light simulates sunlight, helping to reset your internal clock and improve mood and energy levels for the day ahead. This one was recommended by a Certified Clinical Sleep Health practitioner I recently heard present at a conference. Bonus, it costs less than $20.00!!!
• Build a morning ritual around light exposure, like having breakfast or doing a quiet activity near a light therapy lamp or sunny window if you are lucky enough to see some sun in the winter months.
• Encourage outdoor time during daylight hours, even for brief periods. A quick walk or play session outside can significantly boost mood and energy.

7. Resist Over-Scheduling and Embrace Simplicity

• Why it matters: The holiday season often brings a flurry of events, commitments, and activities that can overwhelm both parents and kids. For families with highly sensitive or neurodivergent children, an overly packed schedule can lead to overstimulation, meltdowns, and emotional exhaustion. Simplifying your days allows space for rest, connection, and spontaneous moments of joy.
• How to do it:
• Take an honest look at your calendar and scale back. Say no to events or activities that feel more like obligations than meaningful experiences. 
• Build in downtime between commitments to allow your family to decompress.
• Create space for joy by intentionally planning a low-key family activity. For example, designate an evening to bake cookies together, play board games, or have a living room “campout” with blankets, pillows, and flashlights. Activities like these bring connection and fun without adding stress to your schedule.
• Balance moments of activity with periods of rest or unstructured play, allowing your family to recharge and stay emotionally regulated.

A Final Word

Winter presents unique challenges for families, but with small, intentional changes, you can shift the course toward calm, connection, and joy. Try a few of these suggested strategies, adapt them to meet your family's needs, and take things one step at a time. Remember, this is a stressful season—not forever—and brighter days are ahead.