#100 The 100 Minute Connection Challenge: One Week to Stronger Family Bonds

Season #2 April 08, 2024

DESCRIPTION:

Hello, wonderful listeners, and welcome to a special milestone episode, the 100th edition of the 3D Parent Podcast! First and foremost, I want to extend my heartfelt gratitude to each and every one of you. Your support, your feedback, and your dedication to listening to this podcast have been the driving force behind its success. It's your enthusiasm that fuels my passion for sharing valuable insights and guidance on parenting through each episode.

In today's fast-paced world, it's easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily life. But amidst the chaos, it's essential to recognize and address our children's innate need for connection. They crave our time, our attention, and most importantly, our presence. And that's where the 100 Minute Connection Challenge comes in.

Now, for this momentous episode, I wanted to switch things up a bit and stay true to the theme of 100. So, I've devised an exciting challenge for you – the 100 Minute Connection Challenge. This challenge is designed to inspire you to deepen the bonds with your children over the course of a week. Because let's face it, one of the most vital aspects of parenting is nurturing a strong, secure, and heartfelt connection with our kids.

Throughout this episode, I'll be sharing all the details of this challenge, including how it works and what you can expect. But wait, there's more! I've also created a downloadable PDF bingo board, with a link to download found in the show notes. This bingo board serves two purposes: to inject an element of fun into the challenge and to hold yourself accountable for completing the 100 minutes of connection activities with your child in the coming week.

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Episode Resources:

CLICK HERE to Download The 100 Minute Connection Challenge Bingo Board PDF

Book: “Hold On to Your Kids” by Gordon Neufeld, Ph. D. and Gabor Maté, M.D.

Blog: www.71toes.com

CLICK HERE: Episode 87 of The 3D Parent Podcast: Parenting with Deep Connection

SHOWNOTES:

Hello and welcome to Episode 100 of the 3D Parent Podcast! Can you believe it? We've hit the big 100! I'm genuinely thrilled to have reached this milestone, and I'm deeply grateful for your continued support and engagement. So, to mark this special occasion, I wanted to do something meaningful, something that reflects the essence of what this podcast is all about: nurturing strong connections between parents and their children.

I've been pondering what to do for this significant episode, and I wanted to keep it aligned with our theme of 100. Hence, I present to you the 100 Minute Connection Challenge – a week-long challenge dedicated to strengthening the bond between you and your child.

Why this challenge? By dedicating just 100 minutes of your week to intentionally connect with your child, their behavior will become more manageable, meltdowns will become less frequent, and the overall atmosphere at home will become more harmonious. Sounds pretty amazing, right?

Connection is at the core of what I talk about on the 3D Parent Podcast. It's one of the 4 key components of my 3D Parent Model – Deep Connection. And for good reason! Human beings, especially children, thrive on meaningful connections, particularly with their primary caregivers. When that bond is strong, children flourish and grow. But when it's lacking or superficial, it's noticeable in the relationship dynamic.

That's why I'm challenging you to give this 100 Minute Connection Challenge a go. Trust me, I've seen firsthand the incredible impact it can have. In my one-on-one parent coaching sessions, I often start with focusing on connection because many behavioral issues stem from relational issues. When parents prioritize connecting with their children, those challenges often start to fade away.

Now, let's talk about why this challenge is impactful, especially in today's world. Our children are craving connection more than ever. In our busy lives filled with work, school, activities, and endless distractions, it's easy to overlook the importance of quality time spent with our kids.

Sure, you might be spending time together with your children, but how much of that time is truly focused on genuine connection? Often, our interactions with our children revolve around tasks and obligations. We're busy ticking off to-do lists rather than simply enjoying each other's company.

That's where the 100 Minute Connection Challenge comes in. It's a reminder to slow down and prioritize moments of genuine connection. And don't let the seemingly small timeframe fool you. 100 minutes spread out over a week may not sound like much, but when it's dedicated solely to bonding with your child, it can make a world of difference.

But before we dive into the specifics of the challenge, let's take a moment to understand the signs of connection hunger in our children. Dr. Gordon Neufeld's work on attachment stages sheds light on this topic, highlighting six key stages: proximity, sameness, belonging/loyalty, significance, love, and being known.

When children are craving connection, they may exhibit behaviors such as separation anxiety, clinginess, insecurity, or a constant need for attention. These are all signs that they're working to fulfill their attachment needs, seeking reassurance and closeness from their primary caregivers.

As parents, it's crucial for us to recognize these signs and respond with empathy and understanding. Instead of viewing them as attention-seeking behaviors, we should see them as signals of unmet needs, a call for connection and reassurance in a world that often feels overwhelming.

So, what can we do to address this connection hunger and create a more secure attachment with our children? It starts with restoring a sense of rest – a state where our children feel safe, supported, and free from the burden of seeking our attention through problematic behaviors. When our children are in this state of rest, we'll see them thriving, exploring, and embracing their true selves. That's the essence of childhood – to be free to grow and discover without the burden of seeking connection. And as parents, it's our responsibility to nurture a foundation of trust and unconditional love with our children.

Strategy for Providing Rest in Relationship

“Trumping the Needs”
This is one of my absolute favorite strategies for fostering deeper connections with our children. This concept, derived from the work of Dr. Gordon Neufeld, is a game-changer for parents who notice their children exhibiting what we call "working behaviors." You know, those signs that they're seeking connection and attention from us.

Trumping the needs is all about shifting away from the typical parent-child dynamic. Instead of waiting for our children to come to us with their needs and demands, we take the proactive approach. We seek them out. We initiate the connection. We pursue our kids with intention and enthusiasm.

Now, if you're interested in delving deeper into this topic, I highly recommend checking out episode number 87 of the 3D Parent Podcast. In that episode, I explore the six stages of attachment in detail and offer insights on how to identify and address them. But for now, let's focus on trumping the needs.

Let’s say, your child hasn't asked for a hug, but you sense they could use one. So, you go ahead and give them a big, warm hug before they even realize they need it. That's trumping the needs in action. By being proactive in our approach to connection, we can fill our children's connection cups before they even know they're empty.

But it doesn't stop there. Another aspect of trumping the needs is going above and beyond what's requested. Let's say your child asks for a bedtime story. Instead of simply reading a book, you make it an interactive adventure, complete with sound effects and character voices. You exceed their expectations and make the experience even more special. Or perhaps your child randomly tells you they love you. Instead of just saying "I love you too," you respond with "I love you to infinity and beyond," borrowing a line from Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story. It's these little moments of going the extra mile that can truly strengthen the bond between parent and child.

Now, on to the 100 Minute challenge:

Let's talk about diving into this 100-minute challenge I've prepared for you. The goal? To amp up your efforts in connecting with your children over the span of a week. Think of it as a little gift to yourself and your kids – a chance to strengthen those bonds and create some magical moments together.

Now, I know what you might be thinking: "But I have more than one child! How do I make this work without leaving anyone out?" Well, here's the trick: while I encourage you to spread the love across all your kids, I also suggest focusing extra attention on one child, especially if you're feeling a bit disconnected from them lately.

Think about it like this: choose the child you're currently struggling with the most in terms of your relationship. That child who seems to bring out the most friction or oppositional energy – they're your top pick for this challenge. By devoting intentional time to connect with them, you might just turn things around for the better.

Now, let's get into the nitty-gritty of this challenge. I've whipped up a downloadable bingo board filled with connection activities for you to tackle. You can find the link under “Episode Resources” right in these show notes. This bingo board is your roadmap for the week ahead, guiding you through 100 minutes of intentional bonding with your child.

But hey, if some of the activities don't quite fit your vibe or your child's interests, no worries! I've included a blank bingo board in the PDF where you can jot down your own ideas. The key is to spend a total of 100 minutes over the week engaging in these connection activities.

Let's take a peek at some of the activities on the bingo board:

Five special time sessions (10 min. each): these are golden opportunities for one-on-one quality time with your child. No screens, no distractions, just you and your kiddo. Whether it's a fun activity they've been wanting to do or something you lead, the choice is yours.

Write a little love note (2 min.): Write a simple love note to tuck into your child's lunchbox, backpack, or coat pocket for them to discover. It's a tiny gesture that'll bring a big smile to their face. Who doesn't love a surprise love note?

Make a special snack (5 min): Spend five minutes whipping up a special snack for your child. Get creative – maybe make a fruit masterpiece or check out Pinterest for some creative snack-spiration. It's all about showing your child that you were thinking of them and that they are worth your extra effort.

Back massage or foot rub (5 min.): Need to unwind? How about a five-minute back massage or foot rub for your child? It's a simple way to show them some love and relaxation. Plus, it's a win-win – they get pampered, and you get some quality bonding time.

10 Affirmation Fingertip Activity (10 min.): Inspired by a blog called 71 Toes, this activity involves brainstorming 10 positive words to describe your child. Then, using a permanent pen, write one letter of each word on the tip of your child's fingers, explaining why you chose each word along the way. It's a beautiful way to boost their self-esteem and deepen your connection..

Connection Phrases (30 sec.): For those days when time is tight, we've got some 30-second activities up our sleeve. Just a quick phrase out of the blue, like "I was thinking how lucky I am to have you as my child" or "I love who you are," can work wonders in strengthening your bond.

Conclusion:

Some of you might be a tad skeptical. You're probably thinking, "Is spending just a little over an hour and a half really going to make that much of a difference?" Well, hear me out. Sometimes, it's the small, intentional efforts that yield the biggest impact. So, even if you're not entirely convinced, I urge you to give it a shot. Trust me, I've seen firsthand, both in my personal life and through my work as a parent coach, how dedicating a bit of extra time to connect with your child can create ripples of positivity throughout your relationship. Remember, nothing is more crucial than the relationship you share with your child. When you're facing challenges or feeling lost as a parent, always come back to this foundation: connection. Whenever you're unsure, focusing on strengthening your connection with your child is always the right move.

So, let go of your worries and concerns for a moment. Set them aside and channel your energy into nurturing that bond. Commit to a week of intentional connection and observe how it transforms your dynamics.

So, are you up for the challenge?

Episode Transcript

Hello and welcome to episode 100 of the 3D Parent podcast. I am so excited about this milestone that I have reached, putting out 100 episodes. And I thought long and hard about what I wanted to do with this particular episode. So I decided to stick to the theme of 100 and come up with something that I could give to all of you, which is a challenge, a 100 minute challenge to connect with your children over the course of a week.

To find what power focusing on your connection with your child provides. What I know you're going to find is that if you spend over the course of a week, 100 minutes of you taking the lead in connecting and providing extra energy towards connecting with your child, that attachment that I talk about a lot on these episodes.

If you focus on that attachment, that connection with your child, In this concentrated effort over the course of a week, I know what you're going to find, which is ease in parenting, less meltdowns, less challenging behaviors for your kids. Trust me, just take this challenge for the week that I'm going to lay out for you in this episode, and then let me know what you notice.

I talk a lot about connection on my 3d parent podcast. In fact, it's one of my four parts of the 3d parent model, deep connection. And there's a reason for that. It is the greatest human need to have that connection with other individuals for a child. Most importantly, that connection with parents, primary caregivers, when that connection is working, our children blossom, grow, become unstuck from problematic behaviors when it's not working or it's superficial, or there is some type of a wedge coming between you and your child.

As far as your relationship, your connection. It is really noticeable. And so I wanted to provide you with this challenge this week. Just trust me, just try it out and see what you find. There's a reason why early on in my coaching sessions with my parent coach clients, I focus on connection. Right away.

Oftentimes clients come to me and they're seeking advice on issues around discipline or solutions to behavior problems that they're seeing in their children. I always start first with making sense of the challenges, the problems, where they may be stemming from followed very closely behind with focusing on the relationship between parent and child.

Here's why so many behavior issues. And challenging behaviors that parents are dealing with are rooted in relationship. Once parents really focus on connecting with their child and putting this concentrated effort on doing so, so many of the issues that they started off coming to me looking for support and advice on, they just seem to get better.

It is this somewhat of a panacea in a way where they are focusing on connecting with their child and then some of the challenges get better or go away. I start off there because Then we have less that we're trying to problem solve around. The problem was rooted at the relationship level. So if you put that focus on the relationship between you and your child this week, in this 100 minute challenge, I almost can guarantee that you're going to see lots of the challenges you're currently facing with your child also improve or go away.

Here's another thing. Today's children are, by and large, connection hungry. Some of them are connection starved. Because we live in impossibly busy times. We have impossibly busy schedules, balancing work and school and activities and all of these demands. So many distractions. It is really difficult to prioritize connecting with our children.

Also, sometimes parents feel like, well, I spend a lot of time with my children, but when we really dig deep and really understand. Look at the time spent with their children. They come to realize that, okay, it may be. Quantity of time, but of that quantity of time, they recognize that not a lot of it is spent actually slowing down, focusing on connection just for connection sake, enjoying time spent with their children where they're not trying to get a bunch of other things done.

So often time between parent and their child is spent on agenda items on working on homework on going through the tasks of the day, eating food, going through chores, getting ready for bed, getting ready to go to school. It is always based around tasks, activities, the have tos. There's not a lot of time often prioritized around connecting.

And that's why it might seem like 100 minutes spread out over the course of the week is not a lot. I know you're spending much more time than that with your children, most likely, hopefully, but of that time, I really want you to zone in on 100 minutes. that are just connecting with your children. Before I go into the specifics of this challenge, I want to talk just a little bit more about some of the challenges rooted in connection hunger so that I can bring to light for you some of the things you may be seeing in the relationship through their children and help you recognize that, okay, they may be rooted in this Pursuit of connection or your children working for a sense of connection.

And that is something that we want to put to rest in your children and in your relationships with your children. I talk a lot about the work of Dr. Gordon Neufeld on my podcast and within my work. And he has identified six attachment stages. They are proximity, sameness, belonging, slash loyalty.

Significance, love, and being known. It's really important not only to recognize these stages of attachment and where your child might be stuck in a more superficial stage of attachment than they ideally should be based on their age and stage of development, but it's also important to recognize when your children are working.

They're, , in pursuit of connection. They're working for their connection needs to be met. It's really important to recognize what those signs look like because oftentimes parents misinterpret those signs as, oh, attention grabbing behaviors, or perhaps their child being too attached, parentheses, hashtag spoiler alert.

There's no such thing as a child being. Too attached in contrast, there's only a problem with children sometimes being in securely patched. So manifestations of children at work for their connection needs or attachment work in children can look like separation alarm. This is what oftentimes parents misinterpret as a child being too attached.

So a child who tends to have a lot of stress and anxiety around periods of separation. Clinginess, kind of similar to separation alarm, but it looks like a child who cannot let their parents out of their sight. They can never leave them alone. It's like a little shadow of a parent steps out of the room, the child becomes alarm and immediately goes into pursuit.

That is a sign that their child is working for attachment, working for a sense of connection. It can look like insecurity around a child who's always asking their parent, are you going to be coming back? When are you going to be coming back? How soon after daycare am I going to see you? When are you going to be picking up from school?

A lot of fixation around this period of separation and insecurity around how they're going to handle or manage this period of separation. Other signs or manifestations of children at work for attachment. Look at me, look at me, look at me, a child who's always in this mode of performance or asking for their parents attention, their eyes to be on them, always wanting to put on a show.

You go to the park and the child is like, look at me, look at me go down the slide, look at me climb up, look, look, look, they're working for a sense of significance. Overall, kind of like a sense of anxiousness can also be rooted in children who are not secure in their attachment, restlessness, they just cannot settle.

They're in this mode of just feeling agitated at all times. Children who go into almost a mode of performing as being overly good, a child who's trying to perform as being kind of the perfect child, that's a sign of a child who's working for connection. Sometimes it can be in relation to a parent who is very stressed out.

And then a child goes into this performing as being very good because they feel maybe this insecurity around their parent being able to show up and provide for their children in terms of their relationship and their connection. Another sign can be aggression, a lot of alpha energy for a child who is trying to be in the lead, always kind of combating their.

Parent with opposition or counter will, and can be a sign of attachment work and children. Also children who rather than always going for their parents, they become overly attached to objects or. screens, it almost becomes kind of a substitute for connection that they might be not feeling with their parent or primary caregivers becoming overly attached to objects, to screens, or lastly, their peers, which sometimes can happen via screens, or kind of this over fixation about wanting to have proximity with peers, because the peers have Stepped in and almost become a substitute for parents.

Dr. Neufeld, who I just mentioned, along with Gabor Mate, they wrote a whole book about this phenomenon called peer orientation. The book is hold onto your kids. It's a wonderful read, very insightful. It can be a sign of a child who is not getting their attachment or connection needs met through their parents and primary caregivers.

And so they have become attached to their peers rather than their parents. It's important for parents to recognize what they may be doing that might be creating more of this breakdown or sense of separation in their attachment connection with their children. There are obvious things that can contribute to this break, like discipline methods, such as timeouts.

ignoring, shaming children or even saying to them, I don't want to be around you right now. That's an obvious break in this attachment, this connection with a child. Plus obviously physical breaks, like being away because, Kids are at daycare or at school parents at work or perhaps traveling or really busy that also can kind of feed into what might be more subtle breaks, like parents being preoccupied with chores.

Home tasks, work, phones, their social lives, or scrolling through social media that sense that the parents energies and focus is on a place other than the child. So those can sometimes be the subtle breaks that children pick up on, but may not be as obvious as the more clear breaks, like the timeouts, the ignoring the shaming or physical prolonged separations.

So what do we need to do? We need to restore a sense of rest where we don't have children at work for a sense of connection, but children who are in a state of rest. I sometimes say we want our kids to take the connection with us somewhat for granted. We don't want them to be thinking about it or fixating on it or working for their connection with us when they are there in a state of work, which means that they're not able to do what kids are supposed to do, which is be emerging as their true versions of themselves, exploring play, being artistic, creative.

That's the. Business of childhood, not working for attachment. So we need to restore rest in our children. We need to free our children from the burden of working for our attachment or their sense of connection with us. They need to rest in our care and depend on us to provide all of that connection, that relationship energy.

We know that our children are in a state of rest. When there's this absence of trying to get our attention through problematic behaviors or that look at me or that performance, good child. We know our children are rest where we see this. emergent energy blossoming. We see this authentic kind of move towards trying to do things for themselves or explore new things.

Their energies are turned towards themselves and their emerging interests and passions rather than towards us in this constant pursuit energy. It is our responsibility as parents. To free our Children from this pursuit and instead to provide them with connection and attachment so that they can be free to become who they are.

So one of my very favorite strategies that I suggest for parents who noticed these. working behaviors in their Children. And one of my very favorite strategies again is coming from the work of Dr Gordon Neufeld. He talks about trumping the needs. I talked about this and lots of other in depth exploration of Fostering a deep connection with your children in episode number 87 of the 3d parent podcast.

So you can go there and listen to more of me talking about the six stages of attachment and what to look for and how to focus your energies towards the stage of attachment, your child. Currently as in, or maybe stuck in, so go there for more details. But one of my favorite strategies is this trumping the needs.

And this is to address the tendency that sometimes parents get into to parent on demand, meaning they're not seeking their children out. They're not pursuing their children. They're waiting until their children are demanding their. Attention, their connection to respond. We want to address this tendency and stop parenting on demand and trump the needs by first of all, trying, if possible, to get there first.

Meaning seek before being sought so before your child feels this sense of. Lacking this sense of connection hunger. We seek our children out. We go find them. We connect with them. We pursue our kids rather than waiting for them to pursue us. The second way to Trump, the needs is. to provide more or give more than is requested.

So maybe we didn't get there first and our child is seeking us out and asking to connect in a certain way. We meet that request, but we go further. That is another way to trump the needs or go beyond just meeting that need and just barely meeting the minimum, Connection coming from our request for connection or seeking a connection, our Children are demonstrating so we can exceed their expectations by giving more than is requested.

So a couple of examples, a child comes wanting a hug, rather than just giving them a hug, we pretend never to let go. Another way is a child just out of the blue says, I love you. We respond not just with, I love you too, but I love you to infinity and beyond borrowing from the words of Buzz Lightyear and toy story is going beyond.

What our children are coming to us with. That's a great way to Trump the needs. So now I want to talk about this 100 minute challenge that I have prepared for all of you to inspire you to put. extra effort over the course of a week into connecting with your children. I'm gifting you with a challenge, which is identifying 100 intentional connection activities that you're going to do to over a week with one of your children.

Now, I know you might say, Oh my gosh, I have two kids, three kids. In my case, I have four kids. If I do this extra intention with one of my kids, the other kids are going to feel slighted or jealous. So you need to be a little bit crafty in how you think about this. I encourage you to put extra efforts into connecting with all of your kids.

But Identify one of your kids. If you have more than one, perhaps that child that you feel right now, hmmm... I'm struggling with this relationship with my child. I don't love being around them right now. I recognize that our relationship is full of a lot of friction or this particular child is really coming at me with a lot of, Oppositional energy.

Choose that child to do the full 100 minutes over the course of the week. Challenge. I have created a downloadable. bingo board, a connection bingo board that is already pre written out with different activities. I'm going to go through some of them right now. So you have an idea what is included in this challenge, but I have provided this downloadable PDF that you can

find in the show notes of this episode, download, print out, and then challenge yourself to X out all the boxes on this bingo board. Now, perhaps some of these activities that I'm going to highlight aren't not feeling like best fit for you, your relationship with your child, the age or stage your child is at.

So in that case, you can just replace a few of these activities with something else that takes the same amount of time. Or I've also included in the same PDF A blank sheet where you can fill out your own activities and the small writing on this page indicates the amount of time that each of these activities that you're identifying should take to add up to 100 minutes.

The activities range in time from just 30 seconds to 10 minutes. So you're spreading this out over the course of a week. It's going to amount to 100 minutes Which in the grand scheme of things is not a ton, but you're going to think about this and figure out how am I going to fit this into my week, spreading it out, don't do it all in one day.

That might give you a wonderful experience that day with your child. But my hope is that you're going to strategize and spread out these activities throughout a week, and then see what happens with this extra effort towards Intentionally connecting with your children. So let me give you some examples of things that are included on this connection, bingo board.

So I have included five, 10 minute special time sessions. These are one on one times with one of your children. That is distraction free screen free. Time to connect. It can be just doing a quick activity with your child that your child requests. It can be something that you lead. It doesn't really matter.

It just needs to be 10 minutes protected distraction free time. You go to your child and say, we're going to have 10 minutes of special time today, this afternoon at four o'clock. I can't wait for that time. We're going to do something special together and we'll figure out what it is then. But I'm all yours for those 10 minutes.

You're going to do that five times during this week. Another idea, a two minute idea. You're going to write just a simple little love note to tuck into your child's lunchbox or backpack for them to discover, or maybe stick it into their coat pocket. Another idea that takes maybe five minutes, come up with a favorite special snack, or maybe a snack that is novel or makes a, you know, get some fruit, cut it up and make it, make a picture.

If you don't have an idea about this, go into Pinterest and just Google creative snack ideas. Borrow somebody else's inspiration, but a special surprise snack that just shows your child that you put an extra effort into providing something for them. A five minute idea to give your child a back massage or maybe a foot rub.

A 10 minute activity. This is such a sweet idea. It's not mine. I just adapted it from somebody else's idea. There is a blog called 71 toes. There is a writer, a blogger on that, a content creator on that blog. Her name is Shani Pothier. I'm not sure if I'm pronouncing her name correctly. She has this idea that she calls talent fingertips.

I believe I. Found this idea years ago when my oldest kids were really small. The idea here is, and this again is my adapted version of this idea inspired by 71 toes, the blog. And the idea is to brainstorm 10 positive words that you could use to describe your child. Then grab a permanent pen, maybe in your child's favorite color, and you're I suggest come up with these 10 positive words, write them down on a piece of paper, and then go to your child and say, I want to do something special with you right now.

You're going to, on the tip of their finger, write down the first letter of one of the positive words that you came up to describe your child. So maybe you're going to write a little C on the tip of one of their fingers and say creative. And then tell them why you chose that word. And then the next, finger you write down L, which stands for loving.

And you're going to tell your child why you chose that word to describe them. At the end, they're going to have 10 letters on the tips of each of their fingers, one letter for a positive affirmation or positive. Word that describes them, this feels so good to your children, guaranteed hugs and a sense of connection at the end.

I've said that takes about 10 minutes, give or take. Then you also have some 30 second activities. So if you're like, Oh my gosh, I haven't done anything on the bingo board today. You have some 30 second options. These are primarily just out of the blue coming to your child and saying something that will just instantly bring this sense of connection.

Some examples of this phrase might a phrase that you might use are, I was thinking to myself, how lucky I am to have you as my child,

another example of something that you can just say to your child out of the blue to bring this sense of immediate connection. I love who you are. Oh my gosh. So simple yet. So profound When our children are busy and we are busy, do we stop every now and then just to tell our kids that, man, I like who you are. I love who you are.

And not just focus constantly on the, we need to do this. We need to go there. Or what we tend to do a lot of times to give our kids lots of criticism, lots of negative comments about things that they do wrong. Do we stop enough to just say, I love who you are. Wow. Well, that do a lot for your connection with your child and building that sense of strong, secure attachment.

So that in a nutshell, is this 100 minute challenge. I really want all of you to just try this out. You might be doubters. You may not think that this is going to really have that big of an impact on your life or your relationship with your child. But I want you just to try it anyways. And let me know what you notice.

I know from personal experience, I know from the work I do with my parent coach clients, when there is this extra effort put on connecting with your child, It does have a ripple effect on everything else as it comes to raising your children and building that secure and meaningful, really, really securely connected relationship that we all hope and desire to have with our children.

I want you to try it, even if you're not so sure that this is going to have that big of an impact. Because I am almost 100 percent sure based on experience that this will impact you and your relationship with your child in a positive way. So try it out. Let me know what you think. And just know that there is nothing more important than the relationship you have with your child.

And when you're struggling and you don't know what to do, and you don't know how to improve things with your child, work on your connection. When you don't know what to do, always return to connecting with your child. You're never going to go wrong. It is never going to steer you in the wrong direction.

So leave everything else that is a worry, a concern, leave those aside, set those aside and instead. Focus on connection, whole week of connection. See where you are one week from now. I hope I've inspired you to try this out. Let me know, give me feedback, send me an email, post something on social media to let me know if you're in, you're trying the a hundred hour challenge and how it's going for you.

Take care.

#100 The 100 Minute Connection Challenge: One Week to Stronger Family Bonds

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